This would be the first renfest that I would attend armed this year. Walking around with a rapier is tricky. I have to be careful how I swing around or I might trip someone, or worse yet, knock something down while inside a shoppe.
TRF was the first renfest I ever attended. Gary, my brother Joel and his then girlfriend Melody drove over 5 hours to get here and even had a room at Del Lago a nearby resort. Although, the King proclaimed that it was not raining, the day was cold and wet. Trees had been carved into dragons and other sculptures. These carvings still exist today atop the main souvenir stand. A shiny metal sculpture of a jousting knight and his horse was one memory of mine. A track circled the jousting grounds for horse and chariot races. No covering over the stages.
Fast forward to today. According to James, King George (the founder of TRF) is selling TRF for 4 to 5 million. Bright flowers no longer line the drive to the parking lot. The pine saplings which were once my height are 3 to 4 ties taller than me. It's $21 for a ticket. A beefeater takes my ticket at the gate. There's no souvenir stub to keep. I feel like I'm on the cruise again. Photographers are inside snapping visitor's photos which the guests can pay for later if they like it. I pay $3 for a program, but lose track of Rick, Jim and Gary. I find them at the Dragonslayer souvenir store. James is purchasing his numbered stein. I used to collect steins but no more. I don't have room to display all of them which is probably why they are now selling miniature steins. A noblewoman shuffles past me in the shop. That's when I realize that it's the Queen. She is late for the nobles dance which is taking place just before the souvenir store. I pull out my Flemish Painter (my camera) to take a photo. Dang it! My camera is dead. Well, more technically, it is stuck in solarized mode. I will have to buy a new point and shoot at my next opportunity. Oh well, I might as well go shopping. I don't collect steins but I did start collecting pins. There are a total of 4 pins for 2006. They also now sell a Christmas ornament. Jim points out the webcam high above the store.
James heads off for the privies. I follow slowly behind everyone. My head is buried in the program as I study what is new to New Market.
"Where is it that you want to go?" asks a woman's voice. I look up and see a young wench before me. "Let a woman tell you where to go." I smile and decide to play along.
"So what do you recommend?" I ask her. She flips through the entertainment portion of the program.
"Sound and Fury is always good as well," I nod my head. Sound and Fury parodizes Shakespearean plays. They are Renfest 13. "Wild and Thorny is good as well." I nod my head again. Iris and Rose have a great show. Plenty of Pirates hang out there. They tell jokes, limericks and sing bawdy songs.
"Thank you," I say with a bow of the head.
"Maybe you come back for a fortune telling later?" She smiles as she walks off to the brightly painted wagon.
A gypsy? I should have known.
"I might," I smile back. I've always thought of having my fortune told.
The pirate place that sold weapons for $10 now sell them for $11. You can even see the paint change. A musketeer in a pirate shoppe is never a good place to be. The pirate merchant comments about my boots, my spurs and my rapier. He didn't notice my main-gauche which is hidden under the wings of my tunic.
My quest today is a leather tricorn hat just like Jack Sparrow in "Pirates of the Caribbean" but black. We tag up with Richard and James near Renboots which happens to sell pirate hats as well. They have one for $150. A bit pricey so I'll keep looking around. They also have baldrics but it doesn't seem too realistic. Gary decides that the box is too bulky so we decide to split up and regroup near the steak on a stick place at 11. Gary and I don't have a watch, but I'm pretty good at estimating time. Gary and I drop the box off at the merchant, and we move on to Excalibur Leather. Next door, two girls are singing a cappucino, coffee advertisement at the coffee shop. I find another tricorn at Excalibur Leather. The salesperson is not sure, but think it's $250. (I checked on-line. It's $150. What a fool. He just lost a customer.) Their baldrics are just like Renboots. I find a nice looking baldric at the Pirate's shop for $99. The Hat Shoppe doesn't have any tricorns.
Gary and I check out another store that sells weapons. I am leaving the shop when a woman calls behind me: "Musketeer!" I turn to face a red haired woman with a red dress that splits from her small of her back to just below her belly button. "Let me look at you," she commands with a smile. She is pretty, and I do as she asks. She compliments my garb. I like her garb even more. She asks if I made and I said that I wish that I could. I tell her that my girlfriend gave it to me. She nods and lets me go on my merry way. I was complemented many times on my wardrobe today and stopped at least four times for a photo.
We also check out the store next door which sells used weapons. Sounds like my old videogames. One man debated on the usefulness of the basket of my rapier. I informed him that the common broadsword didn't even have a basket to guard the knuckles. We check out the gardens which doesn't seem to be as nice as before. They are also empty. A mime all in white is out in the bright sun. I don't know how she does it. Instead of makeup, she wears a mask.
Richard and James have not yet returned so we decide to look for lunch. We figure we will try out the new Polish area. We order some pirogi. I get the one with meat. Gary gets the potatoes and cheese which he lets me try. It's better than the meat. They give me sour cream and some sauerkraut is scooped over the boiled dumplings.
We return to the Musketeer Banquet and take seat beneath the shade of the trees. The French nobles wave at me. The nobleman says that when the invasion happens to go to the tavern and he will buy all the drinks. What is with the french noblewomen with pasty faces and red rouge? The French wenches look better than the French noblewomen.
I timed it just right. Rick and Jim are walking up. Go to the tavern and drink beer. Instead of hawking the French wenches sang songs. A nice touch. Richard and James did not have steak on a stick for once. Hell must have frozen over. A turkey drumstick is sold for 6 pounds while a steak on a stick is 5 pounds.
We watch Sound and Fury perform Romeo and Juliet at the Odeon Theatre which is very nice. These three guys are hilarious. No it's not a show for children. We are surprised not to hear the cannon sound the start of the parade nor did we see a parade the entire day.
The maypole is no more so that torment for Heather and Mary is now gone. It has been replaced by a bungee slingshot that catapults people into the air. We noticed that mainly girls were on this. Richard points out two pretty women in maille. The girls say that most women in maille should not be, but these do. The Mexican food court has new tables and benches. The Washing Well Wenches are on stage at . They don't appear to be the same ones as the ones at the Michigan Renfest.
We see children having snacks with the Faerie court. Gary says that based on legend, he who eats with the faeries will never return from their land..
We check out Drench a Wench which is dunking booth with sharp tongued wenches. The young wenches are wearing black blouses, but after she is dunked, you get a view of her black thong through the white billowy pants when she climbs out of the water. Drench a Wench was a bit more mature in the past. For $50, you get a free dunk.
Inside the pirate shop, Gary and I see weapons from anime. A wench lets us handle a huge sword from Final Fantasy. This thing could be a shield if worn on your back. In another room, we find a pirate flogging a gypsy dressed in blue with a cat o nine.
In another shop is a fabulous peacock clock and cowl. A sign says no photos. We sit a spell at Dove Meadow Stage and listen to E. Muzeki. Both James and I have the CDs that we bought autographed. We spot the perfect dwarf carrying a large wooden hammer. As we leave, I see the Queen of Scots from Scarborough just inside the front gate.
We ate at King's buffet - a Chinese restaurant near home. We are 15 minutes late to the door opening and miss out on the monochrome camou cap. It looks pretty good. The opening game is always packed. The program is still $2. The souvenier place is packed with people buying the new jersey with old bomber logo. Ms. Daisy the door greeter remembers me and lets us in.
Up on the matrix board is an ad for 713.974.PUCK Aeros.com. It's so grainy that puck looks like another word. I'll let you figure it out. The two zambonis advertise for Memorial Hermann hospital and cpiop.com whatever that is. The animated bomber on the big screen has changed with side guns and a whole bunch of guns in the nose.
The inflatable tunnel is back with an Aeros bomber. Josh Harding is in the net. The first tier of seats is filled. The second tier is curtained off. Chill e. Dog pays us a visit and leads a chant. We have replays tonight. And yes we have a dance team. Nice eye candy but not really hockey in my opinion. Watching hockey live is better than in person. I can never follow the puck on tv. One fan brings his trumpet and leads the charge or plays taps.
Hockey Chants
Now if you go to a Houston Aeros game. You need to learn a few chants.
Announcer: "The power play is over and grand rapids return to full strength
Fans: "And they still suck!" It doesn't matter if we're losing 3 to 1 which was the final score.
After the announcer announces the Aeros score, the fans say: "He shoots! He scores! Hey (insert goaltender's last name) you suck!"
This is a new one.
Announcer: "One minute remaining in the period. One minute."
Fans: "Thank You"
Announcer: "You're welcome."
